Jaywalking

Something amusing: Melbourne drivers don't seem to be able to deal with jaywalking very well.

I'm not talking about your garden variety jaywalking, that is, crossing against the lights when there's absolutely nothing on the road - obviously, drivers are irrelevant at that point. I'm talking about the slightly more advanced jaywalking, crossing to the middle of the road (or another lane break) and waiting there for a car to drive past you in the next lane, or the similar difficulty level jaywalking, beginning to cross when there's a car in the next lane on the basis that by the time you get to that lane, the car will be gone.

These techniques work very well in Sydney - in fact, they're indispensable.

But in Melbourne, it frightens the drivers. I've already had quite a few of them stop to allow me to cross the road (awww, how sweet!) when I've clearly seen them - that is, in situations where Sydney drivers would simply assume I'm not going to be suicidal, and that they're not going to wait for me, thank you very much.

Actually, it's fun: I think I've found a new sport!

I was trying to work out why Melbourne drivers don't seem to be able to deal with the concept of jaywalking in this way. It's not that they're not used to people doing it - I've seen heaps of other people jaywalking (with the wide roads and the tram stops in the middle of the streets, it's practically de rigeur). And drivers don't seem to obey road rules themselves, so why are they so surprised when pedestrians choose not to?

Then I realised: it's probably because nobody obeys road rules that it frightens them so much - it seems unpredictable, and it's not like they can even really change lanes to get away from the scary pedestrian, since they (ie the driver) is probably halfway between lanes anyway.

Someone (possibly one or both parents) told me once that in Sydney they drive fast, but at least they obey the rules; in Melbourne they don't obey the rules, but at least they drive slowly. And you know what? It appears to be true!

To give Melbourne drivers credit, the rules are rather complex and somewhat silly. I mean: hook turns!!! Which wouldn't be so bad if they were necessary at every intersection. Or even every intersection where there are tram lines along the street you're on. But no. There doesn't appear to be much rhyme nor reason to when and where they're necessary. So unless you know your intersections, there's no guarantee of which lane you'll need to be in if you need to turn right.

Apart from that, hook turns mean that if you're going straight ahead, when the light in your direction turns green, before you can put your foot down you'll probably have to wait for several cars to turn on to the street you're already on. Which means there are fewer who-can-drag-off-at-the-lights-quickest-only-to-end-up- next-to-each-other-at-the-next-lights competitions than you see in Sydney. This is probably a good thing...

And as several fellow Sydney-siders-turned-Melburnians have pointed out to me, Melbourne drivers apparently have no understanding that two lanes mean two cars can travel side by side. This lack of comprehension is probably largely due to the trams.

Native Melburnians might try to tell me that the jaywalking thing is because Melburnians are friendlier and more polite, and to an extent, this is true. I've had a number of people apologise to me when one of us has had to get out of the way to avoid a collision, and quite a lot of the time it's not even their fault (apart from the other stereotype that I'm also finding to be true, that Sydney pedestrians walk quickly, in a straight line, and keep to the left, and Melbourne pedestrians, well, don't - but I'm finding the crowd-manoeuvring skills I learnt in England to be very handy, thanks very much). But I really think that it's the unpredictability of it all that makes the drivers scared of jaywalking pedestrians.

Which gives me hope: we pedestrians may yet take over the world!